...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
