Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
