those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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