I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
