It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
