Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
