i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
