He is such a slut. More and more my type.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
