Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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