he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
