i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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