fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
