You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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