Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we're so committed to being not committed
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
