i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Someone came in the potted fern
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
