juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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