how can u be prego again
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
