I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
