Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
