And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
