ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
