Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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