Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
