# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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