I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
ttyl tear gas
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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