You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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