ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
