9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
