Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
