Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
