it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
