I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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