U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
