booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
