Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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