i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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