normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
