Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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