Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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