Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
