My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
