walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
