Buhtt sex?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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