Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
