Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
