I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
