she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
