i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
