she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize