its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You dont lie about slip and slides
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
