if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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