no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I party with great urgency now.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize